Dear Cookie Dough,
I've been abstinent for 1 year and 7 months. My decision to practice abstinence was to develop a closer relationship with God and my son, rather than a man. I felt like I was giving a man my all ( including sex ) only to be hurt down the road and left feeling empty. I decided if a man truly wants to get to know me, he can do so without the sex and then perhaps we can develop a relationship. I also felt like I wasn't seeking (or attracting) men who had the same values as me - love of God first and family. But in order to attract that, I had to, myself, reconnect with my Father. Surprisingly, it has been an easy journey. I was spending more energy and much needed focus on other areas of my life, including church, volunteering (giving back selflessly), school work and my career. I found myself learning to love me and enhancing my character. I needed to love myself enough to be the best person I can be and that prepares me for a long-lasting marriage/friendship/lover somewhere down the road.